Well, I was going to tell you all about how I generally eat really healthy, but then I get to the airport and Burger King just has this gravitational hold on me (gross, I know) so I made these no-bake oatmeal raisin bites in attempt to stay away from the burger, but then something that’s actually interesting happened to me.
In other words, you’re in luck because I will no longer bore you with the intricacies of my occasional encounters with fast food.
Yesterday I redeemed a “Belly Bite,” which is basically a free product or service offered by this loyalty company, Belly, in hopes that people will return to the business offering the free thing. It was really pretty awesome: I got a free manicure at a pretty nice place. All I had to do was pay the tip.
Here’s where my fun began.
I had no cash on me when I left to go to the nail salon, so I stopped at the ATM just a few blocks away to get cash, knowing I would likely have to pay the tip in cash. Anyway, I took out $60 for the weekend–three twenty dollar bills. When it came time to tip the nail technician, I had to get change for one of the $20’s from the girl at the front desk. Looking back, it was an awkward exchange. The two girls sitting at the front desk could not find enough change in their drawer for my twenty, so they went into their own wallets to formulate change. They gave me a $10, a $5, and five $1’s for my $20. I handed the girl her tip and off I went.
Now, I’m a little embarrassed to tell you how I discovered that the $5 I received was counterfeit but it also sort of makes the story.
I stopped at the wine store on my corner to buy a few mini bottles of vodka for my trip (expert travel tip: paying $2 for a mini bottle is way cheaper than the $8+ they charge in-flight and those minis meet security requirements. Great, now I sound like a drunk). When I went to pay, I handed the cashier a $5 and two $1’s. He handed the $5 back to me and said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t take this; it’s fake.” Ummm, WHAT!
He took out one of those little highlighter pens to demonstrate for me that, because the pen mark stayed brown and did not turn yellow, I was indeed stuck with a phony five. Flustered and confused, I gave him a $10, got my change, went home, and promptly called the nail salon to complain.
After much argument and a mention of the police, she agreed to give me a new $5 but the place is like a 15 minute subway ride and, let’s get real, I guess it’s really just not worth the hassle over $5. I resigned to eat the loss.
UNTIL! A few hours later, while I was packing, I noticed that I didn’t have my singles. Amid all the confusion over the fake, the guy at the wine store forgot to give me my singles.
So this morning I stopped across the street on my way to work, explained the situation to the cashier, and they would not give me the $2. They assured me that their registers had checked out at the end of the day and basically insinuated I was lying. I know it’s only $2, but I go there all the time and thought they would have a little faith in me and know a little something about that thing called customer service. Instead, she said to me: “we are a business, which means they can’t just hand out money to anyone.” No need for the attitude, lady.
The bank was my next stop. I figured I’d suck up the $5 loss+ $2 loss=$7 loss and turn in that damn five and just get it out of my life. Plus, I wouldn’t want to screw anyone else with it.
The lady at the bank patiently listened to my story, took one look at the bill, and laughed. It’s a $5 bill from 1950. It’s not fake, it’s just old.
Since I was in full monster mode and can’t just leave anything be, I marched right back to the liquor store to tell them that my money was indeed real and that, because of their overly scrutinizing cashier, I was all anxiety-ridden about having a fake bill, was now out $2, AND they insinuated I was a liar.
I’m certain that they think I’m the lunatic, but I think they are the crazy ones. Seriously guy at the register? I’m gonna give you a fake $5 (that’s not fake at all) and then try to finagle an extra $2 out of you even when it turns out the questionable bill was not questionable at all? I think not.
I may be out $2, but at least I’m on my way to Arizona curing my headache with my mini bottles of Voli and these delicious no-bake oatmeal raisin bites with no hamburger in sight (okay, maybe only because there isn’t a Burger King in my terminal).
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!
P.S. I am not a lunatic–I am just very, very stubborn. What can I say, it’s the Taurus in me?
- 1 cup old fashioned oats
- 1/2 cup peanut butter
- 1/4 cup raisins
- 2 tablespoons honey
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- Combine all ingredients in a large bowl and mix thoroughly.
- Form about 1 tablespoon of dough into a ball, place on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, and repeat until you've used all the dough. Refrigerate 30 minutes. Transfer to a ziploc bag or container and store in the fridge for up to one week.